Finn
by GingerGleek
Summary: Character Piece 5 of 12. Rated T to be safe. / You think you like it better this way, because you're pretty sure that if it all made sense it would hurt a lot more.


**A/N:** Here he is! Took me a while to get around to it, but here Finn is!

This is fifth in my series of Character Pieces. (Preceded by Rachel, Brittany, Quinn, & Santana.) Not necessary to read other to understand feedback, but feel free to read the others and let me know what you think!

I'm pretty proud of how this turned out. He was really heard to write, but I think I conveyed the things about him I most wanted to convey. His dopey-ness/naivety, and his inner struggles.

I hope you enjoy!

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You're . . . not so bright.

You always have been. And it doesn't make any difference to you, really, because you know plenty of people who get along much worse than you in school, and you don't _feel_ dumb. But the looks you sometimes (often) get from other people make it clear that they think you are. And yeah, you don't understand a lot of things. Like Spanish, or Algebra, or Biology. But neither does Brittany, and Brittany's a really happy person, like you. So a lot of the time, when others are worrying about something and you don't understand what the big deal is, you're glad that you are the way you are. Because you think you'd rather be happy than really smart.

Even if you don't understand what Rachel's saying 80% of the time, and you don't know that babies can't be made in a hot tub (not without actual intercourse, at least). (The latter you learn a little too late, in your opinion.)

You have a hard time finding balance in your life.

Like when you find yourself trying to balance being the male lead in Glee, being the quarterback on the football team, doing all of your homework . . . oh, and teenage pregnancy; especially that last one. (But even when it's just trying to find more stuff out about your dad and not getting your mom upset, or trying to be cool without being mean.) Balance doesn't come easy to you, because you try to deal with it all at once. But then it overwhelms you and you can't manage any of it, so after a while you give up. But things pile up again until it's even worse than the last time.

You're never sure what the 'right thing' is.

Choosing between Glee and football was hard. Because you love Glee; but you weren't sure if you could deal with being a loser. Also, you had a baby (and a pregnant girlfriend) to think about and support; and you thought that your only chance of going to college and not getting trapped in this cow town for the rest of your life was a football scholarship.

And the whole Quinn-Rachel thing, when you still thought that Drizzle was yours. You thought that being with Quinn was the right thing, because she was carrying your baby (*cough*) and you're not the type of guy to abandon his kid or the girl carrying her. But you also thought that maybe being with Rachel was right, because you like who you are when you're with her more than you like who you are when you're not; and because you feel happy and free when you're with her. (That was definitely one of your harder decisions to make.)

You're kind of clueless.

Point number one? Quinn's baby . . . Quinn _and Puck_'s baby . . . 'nough said. You were blind to the facts; that baby's can't be conceived without sex, that Puck was obviously unnaturally protective of the girl in Quinn's stomach, that your girlfriend and best friend were lying to you. You didn't see any of it; not until Rachel (unlike the rest of the Gleeks) let you in on the hugest _fucking_ secret that has ever related to you. (You're still pretty bitter about that; if not about the act of cheating anymore, at least about the lie.)

Something else you didn't see? Rachel. You were blind to the fact that she was totally into you (and that you were totally into her) until she'd (_finally_, in her words) moved on.

You've been through a lot . . . and only understood bits and pieces of it.

But you think you like it better this way, because you're pretty sure that if it all made sense it would hurt a lot more.

Because if you knew the reason why Quinn lied to you; if you knew what possessed Puck to sleep with your girlfriend; if you knew why Rachel gave up on you . . . you'd only have that much more to think about and deal with and have consume your entire being.

That old saying, ignorance is bliss?

You're not sure what it means, but you think you agree with it; whole-heartedly.

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Please review!


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